Vani's Blog

The amount of time it took to do my hair from black to red was excruciating. The process of bleaching it twice and letting it sit to let the pigment go so it can be a clean slate for me to do anything to it feels so painstaking but also very much necessary. It made me think of all the trauma that we uphold in our lives from different people and situation. The process of coloring hair made me realize that you have to de-color it before you can make something different out of it. If I keep trying to put different kinds of color on black hair, which is representing the old traumas, there might be a tinge of that color, if that, but it will always be overpowered by the black. The black has to be removed completely to be able to make it a clean slate which makes me realize that you can’t move on and learn new things by continuing to engage in behaviors that haven’t served you in the past. You have to let those behaviors de-color through healing, however it may be, to make new habits that serve you in your growth. You also have to be patient and sit in that healing process to let it sink in before partaking in new habits/behaviors. This tend to be the hardest part of it all. Having to sit and let it sink is when we have all our old destructive thoughts, physically and/or emotionally. It is important to remember to be patient in these times and letting time take its course in the healing process. Once you get past that, then you can make new changes in yourself and things around you. The more traumas you have, the more times you have to bleach the shit out of it to let it go and then sit to let it sink. The only way to get over something is to go through it. I really wish there was a shortcut because I would already be there but there isn’t. Remember, healing is important and being aware of it is even more so.