Vani's Blog

Finally I have made it to the third stage- acceptance. After the constant turmoil of being tired and then numbing, I have come to accept my own faults and the non-faults in the situations with the people I was struggling with. I was able to speak to the people and I got the closure that I very much needed. For one of them, I had to take responsibility for my own shortcomings which was very painful because I severed the friendship that I had with this person. I feel like I failed my friend and broke their trust because I failed to understand the gravity of the situation. I accept the consequences and the distance they put between us because I made a mistake. I can’t change what I did but I definitely mean to learn from it and never make that mistake again. I am sorry, my friend.

For the other person, I realized that I didn’t deserve the constant emotional turmoil that I was going through in my brain because of them. I realized that there is nothing I can do in that situation and I let go of the constant expectation that I held of that person. The last thing I want is, as I have probably said it multiple times now, beg for love and attention. I know I deserve more than that and if this person refuses to give me that and doesn’t communicate, then there is nothing I can do. I have had urges to just send the message to end it all but I don’t even think it’s needed. I am going to leave that open but I still have my own closure since I am not looking for it anymore. There are still residual feelings about the person and the situation but I choose to move on and not let it affect my other beautiful relationships that I have had. To each their own.

I accept…